Peer Support groups

Online Peer Support Groups for Full Members - Please note all groups for 2021-2022 are now full. We will send out information for future groups in June/July 2022.

A little bit of history: – First Person Plural wanted to offer members support, via zoom during the early days of the 2020 Covid lockdowns. It was important that what we offered was sustainable. We sent an e mail to all our full members asking if they might be interested in being part of an online, peer support group. The response was very heartening with over twenty people ready to give it a go.

The following information has been compiled towards the end of the first year, it reflects what we have learnt as an organisation and how we intend to take this project forward.

First Year – Does a group work for me?

The groups will meet every other month, starting in September. They will be supported by FPP members who already have experience of being in a FPP group. They are a place for adult or the parts who manage everyday living (for some systems this maybe older teens) to share the challenges, difficulties and fun of everyday living with DID. We encourage members to ensure they have support outside of the group as inevitably personal issues will be raised that will need to be addressed outside of the meetings. The groups do not replace therapy and are not suitable if you are in a really tough place that includes a lot of switching. Please read all the information on our website prior to making any decisions about is this right for you and all of your system at this time.

• Annually full members who have not been in a group will be invited to show an expression of interest in taking part in a peer support, online group. You will be asked to read all relevant information on our website. Guidelines for Online Group Meetings 2021
• Relating to the level of interest these members will be offered a choice of days and times.
• You will then be asked to sign up, giving your first and second choice.
• You will be notified of the date and time of your first meeting via a zoom invitation.
• A week prior to the next meeting and every successive meeting you will receive a zoom invitation.
• During this first year the groups will be no larger than 5 members, this includes the facilitator.
• Meetings last for 75 minutes, the last 15 minutes are used to bring the group to a safe closure.
• It is courteous to let a named person know if you are unable to attend, if you miss more than two sessions without doing this you will no longer be able to continue that year.
• You will be unable to join a group meeting after the first ten minutes. This is too disruptive for the rest of the group.
• The person who is representing FPP will help to establish your group in a way that all members are equal, no one is responsible for others and self-responsibility is paramount; this is inline with FPP ethos and will be the basis for you being part of future groups that are not facilitated
• Towards the end of the first year you will be asked to show an expression of interest in continuing.

The second and successive years

• If you want to continue you will be sent days and times and asked to give your first and second choice.
• FPP is unable to guarantee that you will remain with all the members of your first year group but every endeavour will be made to ensure you are with at least one person you know.
• The groups will be no less than four and no more than six.
• These newly formed groups will meet monthly for 75 minutes. ( need to check on this)
• The zoom invitation will be sent out centrally a week before the next meeting.
• The opening and closing of the meeting, the technical side, will be done centrally.
• The group will adhere to the FPP ground rules, this allows members to be respectfully reminded if it feels like this is becoming an unsafe place to be.
• The organisers, FPP members with group experience, will not be attending but will always be available by e-mail if issues arise that a group needs help in addressing.
• These groups will last for as long as people want them to. There maybe times when there is a need to amalgamate two groups if numbers get below three.

FPP feels very proud that so many members feel able to give groups ‘a go’, this is one of the positives to come out of the pandemic. The primary reason for me joining a group was to be able to be with and very quickly enjoy this time spent with likeminded people. I view the times I have spent with DID friends like sharing a coffee with people who really ’get it,’ you do not have to keep explaining and justifying yourself. The excitement is tangible when others are really resonating with what you are sharing. I began to feel empowered and gain in self confidence. Our experience has been how unique each and every person is while sharing so many ‘common threads’.

Regional Peer Support Groups for people who have D.I.D.

Support groups specifically for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), are not established practice in the UK.  Some DID survivors have attended sexual abuse survivor groups (not DID specific), well-being groups and mental health peer support. They have reported often feeling isolated, triggered, misunderstood and unsafe, not ‘quite’ fitting in. This can be a negative experience as it reinforces so many of the messages received during childhood.

First Person Plural has experience of running peer support groups but it is unfortunately, unsustainable for the organisation to continue this work.  However, if you are considering starting a peer support group of your own we are able to support you by sharing our many years’ of experience

Those who have attended FPP’s DID peer support groups have found them to be both helpful and challenging.  The FPP resources linked below outline some of the issues and offer our experience of how to address them.  These resources will also help those who are meeting someone with DID for the first time.  Groups are definitely not for everyone.

With the exception of the Peer Support flyer immediately below which must only be used in its original form, you may use the resources linked on this page in their original form or as a template for you to personalise.

Peer Support flyer

This FPP flyer describes what peer support means.

Info for potential new group members

It is important to be clear who the group is for. This document outlines this by asking the person to consider if joining a group is appropriate at this stage of their journey, or maybe something they would like to work towards. It can be helpful to meet up with the person once they have read all the information and talk it through.  FPP has found this invaluable.

Letter to advertise the group to local therapists and organisations

Getting  information to people with DID in your locality can be challenging.  Send the information to organisations who might be working with this client group e.g. Rape Crisis Centre, local Mind, any organisation who comes into contact with vulnerable adults, counselling centres and individual therapists.  It is important that you are clear about who the group is for and that they read the information provided.  Those working with people with DID often witness their client’s isolation and through kindness and desperation share the information with those who are not in a place to attend a non-facilitated group.  This can lead to painful disappointment for all concerned.

FPP can give your information to our members via the newsletter – admin@firstpersonplural.org.uk

Sample ground rules for groups

These are the ground rules which were compiled and amended from FPP’s experience. They offer clear guidance especially if you are forming a new group. They can be added to and amended at any time, as the group becomes established.  They offer a point of reference if things become difficult within the group for whatever reason and can help to resolve an issue respectfully, honestly and fairly.  It is important that early on in the formation of the group, whenever new members join and whenever there are proposals to add to or change the ground rules they are discussed and agreed.

Peer Support for Supporters of People who have DID

Friends, family, colleagues and anyone who is supporting someone with DID on a regular basis can find this challenging and again isolating. Meeting up with others who understand can be helpful. This is about the supporter’s needs and feelings, how they can change things for themselves. It is not how they can change the person with DID. Sharing frustrations, misunderstandings and good times can help you to talk to the person with DID in a non-confrontational way.

Keeping a secret, being ‘done to’ or needing to be ‘totally independent’ were often the default roles for people being severely abused as a child; as most relationships are built on communication and sharing this inevitably presents many challenges.

Everyone has needs and rights, but it can feel that the person with DID needs monopolises this, forcing the supporter into being a ‘carer’ or constantly ’held at arms-length’. At difficult times caring might be necessary but for most of the time you are aiming at working in partnership, through collaboration and communication that considers and includes the needs of both of you.

Click here for further information including different supportive roles or use our Contact Form to email us